pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
