i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
