he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
