I didn't shave. On purpose
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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