woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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