He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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