This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
