did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When are your genitals available?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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