You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
