Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
