Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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