She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
