at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
