im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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