i just had sex bonerless
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
