you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
