Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
