he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
