I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wish you could order shots online.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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