someone threw a dead crab at me
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
