I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
