Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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