woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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