Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
God I need to hump something, right now.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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