with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
