It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
