she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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