She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
