she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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