So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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