my vag is so smooth its legendary
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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