I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
3 2 1 whiskey
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize