Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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