Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
