so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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