Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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