We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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