I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
