I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
