Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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