my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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