I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
