dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
