What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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