I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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