By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
