I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I supernannyed him into submission
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
