Buhtt sex?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize