my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
