I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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