thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so let's talk penis.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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