She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
