P.S. I can't hear my feet
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
