how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
