i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
