he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
