we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
