Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Screwed.edu
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
