The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize