I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
